Dissatisfaction to Wellness – Until recently, the inertia of the human being was to simplify life. But in recent years, scientists have detected that there has been a reverse process to the one we have been experiencing through which we are complicating it, apparently, without much need.
We start life thinking that we are lovely. At five years old, we can dance and sing in public without caring what others may think. Later, as adults and under an unrealistic ideal, we doubt ourselves. We are self-critical about our bodies or our lack of discipline. As a result, we try to improve but at the same time doubt our abilities because we don’t think we can do it. This self-disgust leads to worse relationships, a stagnant career, feelings of unhappiness with life, and often unhealthy habits and addictions.
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Job satisfaction and its relationship with health
Labor aspects are also affected. Some constantly change jobs or studies, looking for something that satisfies them, but, unfortunately, they usually do not find it, and the consequence is a state of constant job dissatisfaction.
According to Jonathan Dirlam from the University of Ohio (USA), job satisfaction impacts physical health. The cumulative effect it has on mental health and how it affects it after the age of 40 is even more significant. Thus, people who, from the beginning of their working life, were unhappy with their work have more depression, fear, and sleep problems over the years. However, it is observed that people whose job satisfaction has been improving throughout their career do not present health problems associated with constant dissatisfaction or decreased satisfaction.
Four steps to get away from dissatisfaction
Dissatisfaction is the result of the belief that we have to be successful. The constant search under this emotional state responds to a belief system that we possibly inherited and now serves us. But what is success? More position, more titles, more money, better couples?
1 – Stop putting yourself in a ranking
You only see part of the story of those you compare yourself to. Where did you get the image of others with whom you are comparing yourself?
Another promoter of unhappiness is advertising. This encourages the creation of false needs and contributes to following ideals that have little to do with reality. It is everywhere, and if you look at any advertisement, the emotion they sell us is almost more essential than the product itself. The question is: what do you need then?
Our lives are a series of ideals and expectations that sometimes we are not aware of having. We are dissatisfied because we cannot fulfill our fantasies about ourselves. We are also unhappy with others because they do not satisfy our illusions about how they should behave towards us. After all, life is not as it should be, etc.
And how do we get rid of them? Noticing us. When you are frustrated, disappointed, angry, stressed, unhappy… Write him, at that moment, about the fantasy you have and detect how things should be and are not being. He practices letting go of the illusion.
“Because of how much you expect, you neglect what you have” – Alejandro Jodorowsky
2 – Build trust
The reasons we lose confidence are rooted in self-worth and negative thoughts about ourselves. Realizing that failure is not a reason to judge ourselves, daring to forgive yourself for past mistakes, and slowly starting to make and keep promises to yourself are some of the keys to trusting yourself again.
If you judge yourself for not doing something well or not being good enough at something, can you forgive yourself for it the same way you would someone else? Can you understand that you at that time did the best you could with the resources you had?
* Atelophobia: Fear of not being good enough, of being imperfect.
3 – Love yourself
One of the significant manifestations of our fear of not being good enough is our belief that our bodies aren’t either. Few people are happy with their bodies. This is a form of self-hatred and makes us feel depressed, insecure, dissatisfied with ourselves, and seek external forms of happiness.
Let’s take action: Stand in front of a mirror; the fewer clothes, the better. Try to look at your body (and face) without judging yourself. Accept it for what it is. You may feel that “I wish it were different.” It is not different. It is precisely as it is, and that is the perfect version of what it should be. There is no better version.
And beware, freeing yourself from judgments and accepting your body is compatible with starting or maintaining healthy habits.
4 – Find inner happiness
And what does this mean? It means finding joy in how amazing you are, in your constant growth and learning process, in your appreciation of life and its ever-changing state, and in how you see aloneness and its connection. These are all fantastic things, and they are all within you.
Happiness is realizing the good that happens to us (well, not perfect) and appreciating what is inside us regardless of what is happening outside. And once we change this view of ourselves, only then can we look at others differently.
Dissatisfaction stings, but when well managed, it invites us to action, take on new challenges, and inspire us to innovate and create.
Today, and on the occasion of the celebration of International Workers’ Day, I remember those who, as a result of dissatisfaction, believed, fought, and even fell to achieve each of the labor rights that we enjoy today.
But beyond this specific date, the theme of work has always been present in music, with songs praising it, criticizing its conditions, or promoting leisure.
I invite you to listen to ” Working Class Hero ” by the great John Lennon. You will find a rebellious Lennon, with some depressive and ironic undertones, but above all with a social conscience, which would be his battle flag during the decade following his composition.